Feeling more human

For the first time in DAYS, and it's nice. I still can't do a whole lot, so work in a couple of days is going to be interesting, but at least I can get out and run a few errands again, and I can stay up for more than half an hour at a stretch, and I can mostly eat fairly normal food. Getting it in my mouth is still a chore, but if I work at it, I can manage. Sandwiches, for example, have to be torn into bite sized bits or the meat and cheese for work lunches will have to be rolled up without bread or condiments. But it will put calories in me. I have found that currently, chocolate and I will not get along, and for those that know me well, chocolate is THE go-to food when I don't feel well. Right now, I'm happy when I can manage tea and toast! Between clove oil on the jaw, ben gay on the outside to soak into the joint, and gargling with mouthwash, I'm managing to knock the TMJ issue down to a dull roar where I can mostly forget it. About darn time. I'm awful tired of being sick like this.

Though I guess I should get used to it. Fibromyalgia leaves you with a lot of weird side effects, not the least of which is extreme sensitivity to noise, lights, and crowds. Guess what I deal with at work, never mind  every time I have to go shopping? Yep, all of those. So some day, I know there is a very good chance in the ever nearing future, that I won't be able to hold a job, and will have to work from home. That doesn't bother me so much as the feeling helpless and useless that comes along with it, like this last week. Trust me, spending a lot of time bawling because you can't do a darn thing really isn't a fun way to spend your time. Plus it's really boring. The one thing that I really do love about homesteading is that neighbors are few and far between. It's a bit difficult when you need someone right there, like when you're sick, but on the same token, it does teach you what you can deal with on your own. I sure have learned that lesson! One of the best things about country living is on holidays like this - the boys are sleeping on their shelf in the one window, while the town fireworks go on miles and miles away, not bothering them a bit, lol.

Surprisingly, more of the garden is surviving despite neglect than I thought, though I'll have to  get out with water tomorrow. The Arkansas Traveler tomatoes are going, and I'm going to have to find some tall branches to tie them up to because a couple have outgrown the supports. The corn, beans and squash that got into beds are all doing okay, the one large cherry tomato is struggling, the radishes are struggling, and everything else essentially died in the veggies. My snapdragons never made it past sprouting, two of the marigolds are trying, and a few of the sweet peas are still trying. Oh well ... this has not been a good summer anyhow, what with one thing and another. Maybe next year.

My knitting is coming along in bits and pieces, my writing is doing the same, and other things are slowly coming along. I got all the holiday jewelry up in plenty of time for sales, and still have quite a bit available in the 4th of July stuff on the Selz store. I'm going to spend more time writing and crafting over the next few months since the garden is doing squat, but that's okay ... one thing or another will get done in the way of homesteading, it just isn't going quite the way I'd planned on! But as Robert Burns wrote, in "Ode to a Mousie," "The best-laid schemes of mice and men gang aft agley." In other words, the best planned things often get screwed all to heck, and this year has been no exception! Hugs all - I'm actually hungry!!! tonight, so I'm trying cheddar brats, sausage and store bought (yuck) green beans for dinner for us. Late for most of you, but when you are second shift, this is normal dinner time!

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