Well, we are looking at houses online again. Not that we can afford one right now, as far as a downpayment, but we can still look. There are not a lot of homes in our range, but a few. We've decided we're willing to scale back a lot of what we wanted to do, because he'll be 40 at the end of October, and I'm 46, and truthfully, with my fibro getting as bad as it is some days anymore, we just feel we're going to be better off on-grid. We'd love to be off-grid and all, but with my disabilities, it's not likely to happen very easily.
Sure, we dream of a small piece of raw land and beating it into submission, but we're doing that here and it's killing us. So it's time to rethink, rescale, and go from there. That's fine. Homesteading doesn't have to be all hard work and hurting and pioneer spirit and all. You can do quite well with a small piece of land and not trying to do EVERYTHING that your pioneer ancestors did. A lot of them started out doing it from the cradle and never quit, because that was what they had to do. I'm more willing to cave on some things and deal with others, including a stupid power bill every month, than do make myself hurt more than I have to in order to accomplish at least some of my goals.
The problem comes in with the banking industry. Remember when I tried to open up a local bank account a few weeks ago? I'm still trying to find a local bank that will let me open an account without having "recent" credit history. Apparently, regularly paid utility bills don't count any more, even though they are reported to the credit bureaus, especially if you don't pay them. Having a regular job for several years running doesn't do much for you, either. So, we had to call our current bank for something else today, and while on the phone with them, asked them to send us information on the credit rebuilder credit card. I hate the idea of the thing, but if it gets a bit of "current credit" going again so a mortgage can eventually be arranged (which I also hate the idea of, but ...), I'm willing to give in. All of the properties we're just looking at online would have monthly payments under $300, and everything else wouldn't be that much, so bills wouldn't be bad. With a minimum of an acre, I can get in a small orchard, small bramble patch, small berry patch, and a big old garden, plus hedge in with lilacs, forsythia, spirea and all the other things around the edge of the property that will be pretty and help keep neighbors from deciding my garden is an eyesore. At least with working at Tyson, by next spring, when we'll have something of a downpayment put together, I'll have my two years in, and if I go through the credit union in Springdale at that point, one of the perks of working for Tyson is that the credit union will help with downpayment assistance up to $10,000 for first time homebuyers if you are an employee with at least two years seniority.
It means likely giving up on any livestock except maybe chickens and rabbits, but I can deal with that. Likely means neighbors closer than I'd like, but I can deal with that by mostly ignoring them. It does mean positives like running water (with the current heat wave, I'd just about kill for running water so I could take a quick cooldown shower daily instead of a sponge bath) and not having to build the place from scratch would speed up some of what I'd like to do. It's a trade off, but one that at my age, I'm willing to give in on in order to get somewhere ahead of the curve before I reach retirement age!
It would also allow me more time to do the crafting and writing and such I want to do if I don't have to work on carving a place out of wilderness. Let's face it, starting raw really takes a lot of time to get anywhere. But I wouldn't trade what has gone on here, and will keep going on here for a while to come, for anything. Because I've learned a lot of lessons here. I've learned I CAN make a wood pile that works. I've learned I CAN do something of a garden if I have to. I've learned what deprivations I can live with, and what ones I'd rather not deal with. I've learned to deal with heat and cold and everything in between. I've learned that I really do love hearing the birds and crickets and tree frogs. I've learned that I would much rather grow things that keep mosquitoes away from the house, and that I can live with MOST spiders even though I'm terrified of them (there's just too many legs and eyes). I've learned to deal with mice and rats and possums and squirrels and skunks and deer and rattlesnakes sharing my neighborhood. I've learned that even at my age, I CAN walk up and down a steep dirt road for a mile in the middle of winter if I have to, because the road's impassable for driving. I've learned that neighbors or no, I don't NEED people around me and on top of me to ensure I'm not scared and lonely.
And something several people said during and right after that recent bout of nasty stomach flu I had, really hits home. I am tough, strong and resilient. So many of you praised me for whining (you called it venting, but it was whining, pure and simple) that this was not fun and I didn't like going through it. It was sheer h**l, but you reminded me that I was tough enough to get through it, stuck it out, dealt with it, and came out ahead. Okay, so it's going to take a month or more to fully recover from as bad as it was, but you know what? I'm tough enough to deal with all the rest of what I've dealt with for the last couple of years while living here, this recovery is a piece of cake compared to all that. Most of all though, over and above everything else, I've learned again to be happy with what I'm doing and where I'm at. It's not perfect, but it's a blast learning so much and being able to do so much.
I look back at photos from when I started cleaning this place up to be able to live here, and it's amazing the transformation. In order to keep this place liveable, there'd be so much more to do, but I think Quentin and I have mostly decided mutually that we're going to just maintain things as best we can and go from there, while saving up a downpayment to buy something that's a bit less headache and work to start with. I'm game. Besides, it'll be fun doing more things I enjoy and less heavy lifting unless absolutely needed. (And I'll get to do more writing and crafting and such so that I can make some extra cash, which will help to get a house faster.) The journey is ongoing, and I'm loving every step of the trip. Hugs all - I'm off to find some books to share with you, and then I have laundry to put away, dishes to do, and watering to do for what is growing out in the miniature garden. Time for a great day, even if it will be incredibly hot again!
ADDENDUM: Well, I typed all that about 5AM, because I couldn't sleep. Freaking fibro flare. And then we get up, and the power outlet on the netbook is basically shot to crap, and the fridge part of our fridge has decided it's time to go as well. So ... there goes the kitty. The seal on the fridge wasn't that great in the one corner anyhow, but it still worked. Not any more. The freezer is still good, but the fridge is not so good. So we'll use the freezer till it dies all the way and keep the fridge part turned to most energy saver it's got and pack the channel on the seal with weatherstripping to make it seal a bit better. The new fridge is smaller - 10 cubit feet - so it won't hold as much in it. The new computer, on the other hand, is bigger, with a 15" screen. It's like the difference between a regular movie screen and an IMAX screen, haha. NOT my idea of a good way to spend Sunday, shopping for expensive stuff and then setting it all up! But it had to be done. The new laptop doesn't have a CD drive, but neither did the netbook, and I didn't use it anyhow, so who cares? Working on moving all my files over via flash drive - it's actually faster that way than with the home network!
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